Mean Girls is a 2004 American comedy that was written by Tina Fey, produced by Lorne Michaels (creator of Saturday Night Live), and directed by Mark Waters. The movie stars Rachel McAdams, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried, Amy Poehler, Tim Meadows, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer and others. In this article, we are sharing with you some of the best and most memorable Mean Girls quotes.
The movie is partially based on a 2002 non-fiction self-help book titled “Queen Bees and Wannabes” by Rosalind Wiseman. Among the topics that are covered in the book are school bullying, female high school social cliques and how all this can affect and damage high school girls. Tina Fey also added to the script from her own personal high school experiences.
The film was a huge success as it was produced with a budget of $17 million and grossed more than $130 million worldwide. Due to its great success, it also developed a cult following.
Here is a sneak peek at the quotes in this article:
Mean Girls Cady Heron Quotes (Lindsay Lohan)
Cady Heron: It’s not my fault you’re like, in love with me, or something!
Cady Heron: Yeah, I like math. And food.
Cady Heron: I don’t know, I mean, she’s so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Cady Heron: Regina said she’ll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She’s such a good…SLUT!
Cady Heron: Grool. I meant to say great, but then I started to say cool.
Cady Heron: Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
Cady Heron: You know I couldn’t invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.
Cady Heron: You know what? You’re the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!
Cady Heron: Well…there must be something you’re good at.
Cady Heron: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
Janis Ian: What does it say about me?
Cady Heron: You’re not in it.
Janis Ian: Those bitches!
Cady Heron: He’s almost too gay to function.
Cady Heron: Well, half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that’s not good.
Cady Heron: In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
Janis Ian: What is that smell?
Cady Heron: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis Ian: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady Heron: Thanks.
Cady Heron: I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that’s only because I was acting like a bitch.
Cady Heron: I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she’d look like a British man.
Cady Heron: I think I’m joining the Mathletes.
Cady Heron: What do we even talk about?
Janis Ian: Hair products!
Damian Leigh: Ashton Kutcher.
Cady Heron: Is that a band?
Cady Heron: Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit…no, wait a minute…
Regina George: What is this?
Cady Heron: Actual vomit.
Kevin Gnapoor: Look, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady Heron: I have to pee.
Mean Girls Regina George Quotes (Rachel McAdams)
Regina George: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!
Regina George: Why don’t I know you?
Cady Heron: I’m new. I just moved here from Africa.
Regina George: What?
Cady Heron: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina George: Wait…what?
Cady Heron: My mom taught me at home…
Regina George: No, I know what home-school is, I’m not retarded! So you’ve actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
Cady Heron: I didn’t say anything.
Gretchen Wieners: Regina, you’re wearing sweatpants. It’s Monday.
Regina George: So…?
Karen Smith: So that’s against the rules, and you can’t sit with us.
Regina George: Whatever. Those rules aren’t real.
Karen Smith: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina George: Because that vest was disgusting!
Regina George: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.
Regina George: Get in loser, we’re going shopping.
Regina George: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you’re a homeschooled jungle freak, that’s a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don’t try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c…
Regina George: Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady Heron: Um…the Spice Girls?
Regina George: I love her. She’s like a Martian!
Regina George: She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re lesbian.” I mean I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack.
Regina George: She thinks she’s gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?
Shane Oman: You’re right, hon.
Regina George: I like invented her, you know what I mean?
Regina George: Okay, I’m going to forgive you because I’m a very Zen person… and I’m on a lot of pain medication right now.
Regina George: I CAN’T GO TO TACO BELL, I’M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!
Regina George: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?
Gretchen Wieners: Uh, 48 into 120?
Regina George: I’m only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.
Cady Heron: It’s 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.
Regina George: Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.
Cady Heron: I think I’m joining the Mathletes.
Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, Karen Smith: No! No, no!
Regina George: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.
Regina George: Can I just say that we don’t have a clique problem at this school? And some of us shouldn’t have to take this workshop because some of us are just victims in this situation.
Regina George: And right now, you’re getting on my last nerve! Switch!
Mean Girls Gretchen Wieners Quotes (Lacey Chabert)
Gretchen Wieners: Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.
Gretchen Wieners: Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!
Karen Smith: You know who’s looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen Wieners: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen Smith: What? He’s a good kisser.
Gretchen Wieners: He’s your cousin.
Karen Smith: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin.
Gretchen Wieners: Right.
Karen Smith: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins…
Gretchen Wieners: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen Smith: That’s not right, is it?
Gretchen Wieners: That is so not right.
Gretchen Wieners: That is so fetch!
Gretchen Wieners: I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m popular.
Gretchen Wieners: Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.
Gretchen Wieners: If only you knew how mean she really is…You’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them and…it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she’s doing SAT prep but really she’s hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am such a good friend!
Regina George: I love it!
Gretchen Wieners: So Fetch!
Regina George: What is fetch?
Gretchen Wieners: Oh, it’s like slang, from…England.
Gretchen Wieners: Make sure you check out her mom’s boob job. They’re hard as rocks.
Gretchen Wieners: And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.
Regina George: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Gretchen Wieners: But you do have to watch out for “frenemies”.
Regina George: What are “frenemies”?
Gretchen Wieners: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them “frenemies”.
Karen Smith: Or “enemends”.
Gretchen Wieners: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them “fraitors”.
Regina George: That is so gay.
Karen Smith: What if we called them “mean-em-aitors”?
Gretchen Wieners: No, honey, it has to have the word “friend” in it.
Karen Smith: Oh…
Gretchen Wieners: Well, I mean you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady Heron: I wouldn’t?
Gretchen Wieners: Right. Oh, and it’s the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.
Gretchen Wieners: Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch.
Gretchen Wieners: Oh no, I can’t say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.
Gretchen Wieners: Growing up female in this world is not easy. In China, baby girls are routinely put up for adoption. And in parts of Africa, women are still made to live in tents during the time of their menses. And, even in fancy countries like the United States and England, seven out of ten girls have a negative body image.
Gretchen Wieners: I think tonight might be the night with Jason.
Karen Smith: What are you talking about? You’ve already slept with him.
Gretchen Wieners: Yeah, but tonight’s night I like it.
Gretchen Wieners: I can’t believe you think I like attention!
Gretchen Wieners: I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn’t even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I’m the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn’t hear that.
Mean Girls Karen Smith Quotes (Amanda Seyfried)
Karen Smith: On Wednesdays we wear pink!
Karen Smith: If you’re from Africa, why are you white?
Karen Smith: Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
Karen Smith: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Karen Smith: Well…I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense. It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.
Karen Smith: I’m a MOUSE. DUH.
Karen Smith: Amber D’Alessio. She made out with a hot dog.
Karen Smith: There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining!
Mean Girls Janis Ian Quotes (Lizzy Caplan)
Janis Ian: God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don’t know why I did this. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!
Janis Ian: Hey, buddy, you’re not pretending anymore. You’re plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.
Student: Nice wig, Janis. What’s it made of?
Janis Ian: Your mom’s chest hair!
Janis Ian: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other’s awesomeness?
Janis Ian: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we’re mean! You try to act so innocent like, “Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!”
Janis Ian: That’s only okay when I say it!
Janis Ian: You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don’t eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of plastics.
Janis Ian: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that.
Janis Ian: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Janis Ian: Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!
Janis Ian: Wow, Damian, you’ve truly out-gayed yourself.
Janis Ian: Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.
Janis Ian: There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.
Janis Ian: We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina’s whole dirty history.
Janis Ian: Regina George…How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Mean Girls Ms. Norbury Quotes (Tina Fey)
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No…I just have a lot of feelings…
Ms. Norbury: Okay, go home…Next!
Ms. Norbury: How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
Mr. Duvall: And…if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody…
Ms. Norbury: Thanks. Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn’t see-through.
Ms. Norbury: Okay, so we’re all here ’cause of this book, right? Well, I don’t know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.
Mr. Duvall: So, uh…how was your summer?
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.
Ms. Norbury: I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don’t have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.
Ms. Norbury: I’m kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Ms. Norbury: You nervous?
Cady Heron: Yes.
Ms. Norbury: Don’t be. You can do this. There’s nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
Damian Leigh: My nanna takes her wig off when she is drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your nanna and I have that in common.
Mean Girls Damian Leigh Quotes (Daniel Franzese)
Damian Leigh: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10.
Damian Leigh: Health, Spanish…you’re taking 12th Grade Calculus?
Cady Heron: Yeah, I like math.
Damian Leigh: Eww. Why?
Cady Heron: Because it’s the same in every country.
Damian Leigh: That’s beautiful. This girl is deep.
Damian Leigh: Oh my God – Danny DeVito! I love your work!
Damian Leigh: That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.
Damian Leigh: She’s the queen bee – the star, those other two are just her little workers.
Damian Leigh: Oh, you’ll get socialized all right, a little slice like you. Own it.
Damian Leigh: Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh… “Caddy” Heron. Do we have a “Caddy” Heron here?
Damian Leigh: I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.
Damian Leigh: Good news, they didn’t get run over…Bad news, they’re still flat.
Damian Leigh: Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!
Damian Leigh: She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.
Interesting Facts about Mean Girls
Now it’s time to fetch some interesting facts about Mean Girls, won’t you say? Let’s go!
- Cady Heron is Named After Tina Fey’s College Roommate – During the early 90s, Tina Fey studied drama at Virginia University and so during this time, she shared an apartment in Charlottesville with her then roommate – Cady Garey. The character of Cady Heron, played in the movie by Lindsay Lohan, is named after Cady Garey.
- The Role of Damian Gave Actor Daniel Franzese Great Courage – In an interview, actor Daniel Franzese said that he was extremely terrified to play the role of Damian. This was a character they used to laugh at, yet was a clear representation of a gay teenager. Franzese himself came out publically years after the movie and said that many years after the movie, grown men still approached him and thanked him for being a role model.
- The Character of Glen Coco Was Played by David Reale – The character of Glen Coco is famous due to the quote “Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco”, as people seem to love this quote. With that said, the role of Glen Coco was never credited, yet you can catch a glimpse of him during the movie, when his face can be seen when Gretchen reads her eassay on Julius Caesar. Coco, is sitting right in front of Lindsay Lohan. And so, in 2013, BuzzFeed discovered that the actor who played the role of Glen Coco is a Canadian actor by the name of David Reale. You can also see him on the TV show Suits and other TV shows.
- Janis Ian is a Real Person – Lizzy Caplan plays the role of Janis Ian in the movie. However, Janis Ian is actually a real person. The real Janis Ian is an American singer and songwriter who was also the first musical guest on the TV show SNL (Saturday Night Live). In 1975, Ian won the Grammy Award for her song “At Seventeen”, which is exactly what the movie talks about: the insecurities that teenagers feel during these ages.
- Lacey Chabert Hears the Word “Fetch” All The Time – You want to know how many times? Chabert hears or reads the word “fetch” at least 100 times each and every day! She says that every day, people tweet her with the word, that has become so iconic in the world of Mean Girls. The whole “fetch” thing is so popular, that even Obama’s White House made a joke inspired by the “fetch”. I would say it’s fetching crazy, right? No good? Okay, forget it…
- Mean Girls Received a Broadway Musical – The movie Mean Girls also turned into a Broadway musical. Tina Fey, her husband, and lyricist Nell Benjamin created this musical version. It first opened at Washington, D.C. National Theatre in October 2017, and later moved to Broadway’s August Wilson Theatre in April 2018. The musical had no less than 12 Tony nominations, and Tina Fey herself won the Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Book of a Musical.
- Tina Fey Struggled with the Math-Related Lines – Tina Fey chose to play the role of a math teacher in order to show that girls can succeed in math as well. However, later on she did admit that she actually struggled with her lines concerning to math, and that she didn’t understand any of the lines that she recited. According to Fey, she used the lesson plans of her friend’s boyfriend who is a calculus teacher in order to get the dialogue right.
Interested in funny quotes from other iconic comedies? Make sure you check our posts on Beetlejuice quotes and Ron Swanson quotes.